(Editor's Note: As promised in the previous (Hajj) issue, a personal account of a first-time Balik-Islam pilgrim, as visitor of His Majesty the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, is now featured.)

When I first saw the light of Islam, almost two decades ago, performing the Hajj had become a cherished dream which seemed to be far from becoming a reality (in the near future). Leaving behind eight (8) growing children (for a whole month), all of school age, is reason enough to think that it would take me a decade more to truly perform this very important pillar of Islam. I just content myself with inspiring stories whenever I visit friends and relatives arriving from the Holy Land as pilgrims.

The big surprise came when my husband got a call from the Saudi Embassy informing us that we were among the Guests of His Majesty the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia as Royal Visitors for Hajj 1424 (2003). I had mixed feelings as many questions popped-up - Who would take care of the kids (their 3rd quarterly exams was scheduled on our departure date)? Am I really spiritually prepared for this important event? Will my current state of physical health stand the grueling activities that go with the Hajj? And another thing . . . my husband was set to receive the 2003 Ninoy Aquino Award for Professional Development from Pres. Cory Aquino and US Amb. Francis Ricciardone, and this fell on the same day that we were scheduled to leave. I prayed fervently to Allah (swt) for guidance and assistance.

After making arrangements for everything including bills payments, school fees, orientation with the maids, to-do list for my daughters who would temporarily take care of my business, phone calls to relatives, etc. . . we were finally set to leave. A final dash to my pulmonologist for last minute emergency medications for my asthma (in case. . .) was also in order.

Departure

On departure date, we were invited to the Saudi Embassy for breakfast and a briefingby Amb. Mohammad Al-Ghamdi. It was heartwarming to see familiar faces who would become our constant companion for the next fifteen days in this very spiritual journey to the House of Allah.

Foremost among our companions were, Gov. J. A. Leviste (husband of Sen. Loren Legarda), Cong. Gerry Salapuddin; Amb. Ali-Basher Lucman and wife, Usec Omerah; Gen. Ahmad Omar(newly appointed Ambassador to Oman) and wife Jackie; Prof. James and Bai Tondogun Lucman, with Tati; mother and son team, Dir. Marlene and Shalimar Tamano; Dr. Max and Normain Jundam; Mayor Tony and Jan-jan Disomimba; Col. Joel Garcia and his wife, a Tunisian (our willing interpreter in Arabic language); Dr. Saga and Jasmine Mabaning; Ustadz Elias and Fatima Macarandas; Chancellor Casan Panawidan and wife Mariam, Imam Mustapha Pumbaya (who, we later learned, graciously passed away in the Holy Land on an extended vacation with his children who worked there) and his young wife; and a host of would-be hajjis and hajjas.

On the plane as we approached the vast deserts of Saudi Arabia, a prompt from our individual monitors signaled the time to enter the state of Ihram. One by one, all of us went to the aircraft's comfort room for wudu (ablution) and change to Ihram. Two pieces of seamless white cloth (slightly bigger than a beach towel) for the men, and a clean, white outfit (showing only the face and the hands) for the women.

We took our dinner as we arrived at Jeddah airport in the evening. Free Ihram were distributed courtesy of our host, the Crown Prince. Although a computer problem made us spend the night at the airport, the hitch did not dampen our enthusiasm for our Hajj. On the bus, as we finally set off for Makkah before dawn, we started reciting the Talbiyah. Goose pimples started to appear all over me as we traversed the dark, long, lonely, and quiet deserts which seemed to be awakened by our continuous chanting of " . . . Labaik Allahuma Labaik…". I realize then that I'm indeed on my way, Insha Allah, to becoming a Hajji.

Umrah

We checked-in at the Metropolitan Hotel, a few blocks away from the Masjid Al-Haram. An airconditioned coaster ferried us to the Grand Mosque. I became misty-eyed as I saw, for the first time, in its grandeur, the imposing Masjid al-Haram. The Ka'aba, the cube structure draped in black, where all Muslims from different parts of the world face in prayer, is strategically located in the center. The scene was inspiring as we winded our way through throngs of people with whom we share the same faith and conviction. Therewere people of all races and expressions, everything floated amid a buzz of innumerable languages, colors, race, gestures and excitements.

As the main rites for Hajj were a couple of days away, we performed Umrah first. As we did our tawaf (circling the Ka'aba seven times), we became a part of a circular stream where some wept, some loudly called to God in prayer, and others, like us simplyhad no words and tears but only walked with lowered heads in total submission to Allah (swt). I always keep in mind what my husband (a four-time pilgrim) said, "be careful not to stumble, you might be trampled upon by the hordes, this can be fatal." Gov. Leviste was admirably relaxed and effortless in this ritual.

The Ka'aba is a symbol of God's oneness: and the pilgrim's bodily movement around it is a symbolic expression of human activity, implying that all our practical endeavors, our thoughts and feelings must have God as its center.

Walking and running seven times from Safah to Mar'wah for the Sa'i to replicate the struggle of Hagar (wife of Abraham) to find water for her new-born Ismail (pbuh), makes one realize the sacrifice a mother has to endure for her children. On this site sprang zamzam water, which nourished pilgrims and Makkans up to this day. There were occasionswere we had to scramble for space but no one seemed to mind this at all, bearing in mindthat we were doing this for the pleasure of Allah (swt).

We then proceeded to trim a portion of hair from our head to complete the Umrah rites near the place marked BARBAR(sic) SHOP, a corruption of the English word, "Barber" as noticed by Cong. Salapuddin.

As the rituals were physically exhilarating, I felt a need to rest so I decided to return to the hotel with the others, leaving the rest behind for the zuh'r prayers. To my surprise, all activity at the Haram, went to a full stop as people, even in the streets, started unrolling their prayer carpets as they heard the azan for zuh'r prayers. All shops closed down in deference to prayer time. This, I found out later, was the norm in the whole of Saudi Arabia. But through the design of Allah (swt), I did not miss my first wakto in the Haram (equivalent to 100,000 prayers), as we laid our prayer mats and prayed inside one of the shops located in its outskirts.

While waiting for the 9th of Dul Hijjah, we devoted our time praying at the Masjid Al-Haram. Airconditioned coasters, available every five minutes, ferried us to the Mosque anytime of the day. The Prince was generous enough to assign Yusoph, a Filipino balik-Islam to be our official guide through the entire Hajj. His nightly orientation was well-received, with a Saudi Arab, who speaks fluent Tagalog, pitching in sometimes. In between spirituality, we managed to squeeze-in some visits to and from relatives working in the area. We bonded well with our fellow pilgrims by doing some shopping on the side.

As guests of the Prince, we were lucky enough not to be saddled by cooking chores. Every mealtime, we just had to go down our hotel rooms to the banquet hall, where every food was laid down for us to consume and sustain us through the rigors of Hajj. It was "smorgasbord" all the time. This was the time where we met and broke bread with fellowvisitors from other countries such as Indonesia, Japan, Algeria, Turkey, US, England, Ethiopia and every imaginable country around the world. Though there were language barrierssometimes, the common drive to please Allah and seek repentance from sin committed in this world through the Hajj, was the factor that bound us together.

Off for the Big Day

Together with the other international visitors, we belonged to a convoy of twenty or morebuses going to Mina. A retinue of special police escorts, that cut its way through heavyvehicular and human traffic made it easy for us to reach our assigned tents. Saudi ladieswelcomed us as we were led to a sumptuous buffet laid down on the biggest airconditioned tent ala five-star hotel style amidst a desert setting. Continuous tasbih and praying countless sunnahs were the activities that enriched us. I also busied myself memorizing surahs of the Qur'an and reading its English version.

Haj Proper

As we stood in Arafat during Wuquf, we prayed and made supplications to Allah (swt) for blessings and guidance. We contemplated on the kind of life we are currently leading, our families, our friends, our fears and desires, our problems, etc . . . after which,we seemed to be unburdened by the worries in the world, as we were enveloped with the feeling of serenity and contentment believing that Allah (swt) had just redeemed us fromour various sins. It was at this point where our pilgrimage is confirmed and from this day on we carried the title, "Hajji."

We then proceeded to spend the night in Muzdalifah to collect pebbles. After our combined Maghrib and Isha prayers, we had the chance to informally share intellectual discussions with our fellow pilgrims from other countries. Foremost among our topics was the place of Islam in their respective societies. American pilgrims claimed that they get equal footing with their non-Muslim compatriots in their homeland. Though somepeople can be indifferent to them, Muslims live happily in their respective fields of endeavor. But this does not hold true in some parts of Europe as one of the pilgrims claim. They sympathize with the plight of marginalized Filipino Muslims whom they oftensee in cable TV. Through this exchange of insights, we realized that we could be few in the Philippines, but against the backdrop of world affairs, we are part of a bigger UMMAH.

With the pebbles we collected in Muzdalifah, we performed three separate stonings at al-Jumrat as Sughra, Al-Jumrat al Wasta and the Jumrat al-Aqaba, on the second and third day of Eid-ul-Adha. This is a symbolic gesture of driving the evil, similar to what happened to the ProphetAbraham (pbuh) when he was on his way to sacrifice his son Ismael (pbuh). This has been the site of the deadly stampede that claimed lives, this year and in the past. To this, the Government of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is doing everything possible to make the yearly Hajj safe for all.

We then returned to our accommodation in Mina where the Arab ladies lined our path as they bore fragrant burning incense while joyfully welcoming us with the greeting, "Hajj Mabroor."

The next day, still in Ihram, we went back to Makkah and proceeded to do the tawaf ul-ifadah (tawaf for the Hajj). Fresh from the arduous rituals in Arafat and Minah, the adrenalin rush was still there so we felt physically strong for the tawaf and Sa'i in Safah and Marwah (same rituals with the umrah including the cutting of hair). This time, all the men in our group, in a gesture of unity, decided to have their hairsshaved. The qurban , (slaughtering of sacrificial animal),an important part of Hajj, followed next. Then we shed our Ihram and all the prohibitions that go with it was lifted.

MADINAH

Though not an obligatory part of Hajj, going to Madinah to visit the Prophet's mosque is sunnah and an integral part of the pilgrimage. The Prophet (pbuh) migrated to Madinahwhen there was struggle from Makkans in the advent of Islam. As we traveled through hot,wide and lonely deserts in the comfort of an airconditioned bus, we imagined the difficultythe Prophet (pbuh) and his companions had to bear in negotiating (on foot) the distance from Makkah to Madinah.

Along the way, we would stop at gasoline stations for salah (prayer). Prayer rooms and wudu area complete with running water, are surprisingly present in these quaint structuresin the middle of the desert.

Visiting the Prophet's grave and offering prayers for him in Masjid Al-Nabawi (Prophet's Mosque) is a spiritual experience. Nestled in a city with hotels and shops lining its busy streets, the magnificent structure, awesome even from a distance, is well maintained. A visit to Hamza Mosque and other landmarks made our Hajj all the more worthwhile.

HOME

On the eve of our departure for Manila, we were feted to dinner at the Philippine Consulatein Jeddah. The Consul General (usop Kadatuan), I was told, was a student of my husband at the Mindanao State University sometime in 1973. A quick last-minute shopping in Corniche Road in the morning, with our relatives and friends residing in the area, completed our journey. Despite the confusion on which airport terminal to take, we finally took off from Jeddah. Alhamdulillah! We were finally home! All my worries prior to the trip were well taken care of. My children did well with their grandmother and aunts providing care and supervision for them. With all the physical efforts we had to undertake in the entire Hajj, I miraculously did not suffer any slight symptom of asthma. The awarding ceremonies for my husband went well with my brother-in-law taking his place. The guilt feeling for not attending was erased when we saw the video of the very happy and successful affair. In his speech, Amb. Ricciardone, very knowledgeable in Islam, explained to Pres. Cory Aquino and to those present that my husband has "to fulfill a very special duty as a Muslim, that's why he can't personally receive his award."

We arrived home safely, not only with a feeling of completeness from such profound spiritual journey, but also rich in friendships gained and a baggageful of experience on perseverance, patience, humility and unity. Thank God, Alhamdulillah!